The Mantuary

Be A Man.

-The Founding Father

Be A Man.

-The Founding Father

For the countless people out there asking the question, “Tiger, how could you?”, let me give you the quick and honest answer:  Tiger Woods is a man with a penis.  Shocking as it may be, there is an innate male behavior that calls for that aforementioned penis to be put into everything it can… regardless of how hot his supermodel wife is.  Tiger is not the first person to have an affair and he will not be the last.  As we men go through life there are those elements that keep us grounded; be it faith, family, careers, morals, or even dedication to a sport like golf, but all too many times we are weakened by temptation as countless men find themselves willing to “risk it all” for a quick hole in one (sorry, terrible joke).  If you want to know the the toughest challenge for 99% of the men in the world, read that paragraph again.

Now some may think I am making excuses for the cheating men out there, but I’m not.  I’m simply stating a fact of life as it pertains to innate male behavior.  If you need to know, I now have as much “Man” respect for Tiger as I do every other married man who cheats on his wife: zilch.  Keep in mind, the innate male behavior that tells us to boink everything that moves is the same innate male behavior that tells us to provide for our families, protect the woman and children, be a good father/husband, live honorable lives, etc.  

In the end, you gauge a Man’s true character by his ability to balance all those components of life; from the quality time he spends with his kids to the time he spends in his Mantuary.  From the commitment he made to his wife to his ability to shun temptation(s) in the form of drop dead gorgeous 24 year old waitresses who promise to ‘treat you right’ and maybe tickle the balls a little.  Personally, I’m pretty damn proud of the balance I have in my life which touts a 14 handicap in golf and an unwavering commitment to my wife and kids.

I’d like to share a bit of advice to all men out there: If you have yet to evolve from your innate need to boink everything that moves, you are not alone, but you are also not ready to get married.  You’ll end up getting extorted (Letterman), accused of rape (Kobe), impeached (Clinton), forced to resign (Spitzer), chased out of your house with a golf club and near dead after driving your car into the neighbors tree (Tiger) or your wife shot in the face (yeah, I’m talking to you Joey Buttafuoco).  You won’t have a leg to stand on when compared to other real Men out there.

And for those that already made the commitment to a wife and family, congratulations.  Now Be a Man… a real Man… Be a man of your word and dedicate your life to that commitment you made to your wife and kids.  And while I’ll fully admit my married life is not perfect, it is in balance and I wouldn’t substitute it for anything in the world.  So Tiger, you can have the million dollar homes, your green jacket and a +14 handicap, I’ll take that one thing you will never have: a wife and kids who trust him. 

As my Grandfather used to say, “If ya wanna stay out of trouble, keep your pecker in your pants”.

Be A Man.

-The Founding Father