Babe Ruth Is Rolling In His Grave.
According to The Mantuary History books, the champaign popping celebrations we’ve recently seen in baseball originated back in 1918 when the Red Sox won the World Series. After the game, Babe Ruth took a half drunk bottle of Jack out of his locker and smashed it over the head of Stuffy McInnis. McInnis returned the favor by elbowing The Babe in the gut and raking his eyes. The Babe laughed it off, hugged McInnis and together they went on a 3 day binger.
Fast forward to this past weekend, I can’t help but ask how a tradition originated by testosterone infused meatheadedness turned into such a debauchery?
I watched some of the world’s greatest athletes make it into the playoffs and all of a sudden their obligation to conduct themselves like men went out the window. Phillies win the National League East and the next thing I know, Jimmy Rollins is takin’ champagne like he’s a Jenna Jameson stunt double. Half the league is now wearing celebratory swimming goggles to protect them from what… champagne and beer? You pussies! Take that sting like a Man… you know The Babe would.
C’mon fellas… there are grown men out there who look up to you… not just as baseball players but as Men. You owe it to the real guys out there who appreciate chugging a celebratory beer as much as turning a double play. If you are a “Champion” I suggest you start acting like it. After you win the pennant, head into the locker room and chug 6 beers with a plug of tobacco in your mouth while showing some female reporter your fruit basket and yelling, “I’ve got your headline right here”… and only then will The Mantuary dub you a true “World Champion”.
Be A Man.
-The Founding Father
Filed under: Beer, Rants, Sports & Leisure
I think the players would be better off showing a Bird Bath instead of a Fruit Basket.
Nice write up. I love my Phils and agree that the goggles are a no-no, balls up fellas!
That Phillies photo is from last year’s clicning, but JRoll did wear the goggles again this year – a much more stylish pair if it matters. Still, if it means saving his eye from a errant cork and staying healthy for the playoffs, I’d do it. When you win the WS then it’s time to lose the eyewear.
Maybe some champagne in the eye will help Howard distinguish between a fastball and a slider three feet off the plate.