Loading ...Man Math 101: Maintenance Ratio
If you haven’t done so already, please read the Introduction to Man Math before proceeding.
Maintenance Ratio: I could write a small novel on what the Maintenance Ratio (MR) has done for my life as a married Man. This is a great number to keep your eye on because it comes in handy when you’re making a case for that Big Green Egg or the fooseball table you’re looking to add to your Mantuary. The Maintenance Ratio is the amount of money your wife spends on “maintenance” (beauty products, hair, nails, massages, perfumes, etc.) divided by the amount of money you spend on “maintenance” (for me, it’s a monthly trip to the barber for a classic high and tight, a stick of Old Spice, and a tub of Extra Strength Gold Bond to keep the family jewels dry and unchaffed).
Example:
($150 Salon + $60 Perfume + $40 Nails) / ($15 Barber + $3 Old Spice + $7 Gold Bond) = $250 / $25 = 10
What many married couples fail to consider is the fact that items like BBQ equipment, power tools, fooseball tables and pinball machines are just as much a part of maintaining a Man’s existence as beauty products and spa trips are to maintaining a woman’s existence. Track this number for a month and you’ll quickly see you’re getting shortchanged as the Man because most couples’ Maintenance Ratios always favor the wife.
In conclusion, The Founding Father’s Theory of Marital Bliss as it pertains to equal Maintenance Ratios states:
If MR > 1 = Buy that Big Green Egg with a clear conscience
If MR = 1 = Marital bliss and harmony
If MR < 1 = Your wife is cheating on you
Stay tuned, more Man Math 101 to come. In the meantime, should you encounter any Manly predicaments that you simply cannot figure out, send ‘em my way. I’ll provide the Man Math behind your situation, proving you correct and the rest of the world wrong.
Be A Man.
-The Founding Father
Filed under: BBQ, Humor, Man Math 101
Nice one……..Now how can I justifie my beer and tobacco expenses.
Good news, Rob. The answer lies in an advanced level of Man Math I’ve developed. Many said it could not be done, yet with countless hours of research, calculations, and hands on testing, I’ve developed a way to justify every man’s beer and tobacco expenses.
Trust me when I say, my findings will revolutionize Men’s cohabitation with woman… forever! With these findings, every Mantuary shall have free flowing beer that isnt just accepted by the Hen, its actually encouraged.
This is kind of like the H-bomb of marital negotiations, so I must be careful when and how I present this information to the public. It won’t be long before married Men all over the world have libation liberation forever!
Till then-
Be A Man.
-The Founding Father