BUY MANTUARY GEAR!

If you live above the Mason-Dixon there’s no mistaking that Old Man Winter is here with his crusty ball-bag hanging out giving the North his own version of an icey Roman Helmet.  If you live in the South where you can still swing the irons in a pair of shorts and stare at chicks sun-bathing in bikinis at your local pool - GFYS.  I’m in the first camp, so it’s time to retreat to the Mantuary, tap into the single malt reserves, and treat myself to a bowl of soup.  What was that? Soup, you may ask?  How in the hell is soup considered Manly enough to be eaten, let alone consumed in a Mantuary?  Well, I’m here to tell you that even the burliest of Men can enjoy a bowl of soup without compromising their stature.  Unfortunately, if too many 105 lb French chefs put enough onions in anything it’s reputation is bound to become tarnished, but once you wipe away all the crappy high-brow misconceptions associated with soup you’ll find you’re left with quite a Manly meal.  From the days of the Neanderthal throwing animal carcases into boiling water over a fire to the days of cowboys making chili on the open range, soups (b.k.a. stews,chilis,chowdas) have Manly roots.         

So get in touch with your instincts and treat yourself to a Manly meal of home cooked soup.  Take the boy out to shoot a deer and make some venison stew, or trap a rabbit and throw peter cottontail into a pot of beef broth.  Whatever you do, don’t resort to a can of soup endorsed by the worst quarterback of all time (by the way, in this meaningless matchup tonight, the Eagles are 15 point favorites over the Browns, Monday 8:30 PM EST).

Here are some of my favorite recipes:

Guinness Stew

Prep Time: 2-3 Beers

Cook Time: 1 Football Game

Servings: 8…or enough for you and 1 buddy

Ingredients: 

• 3 pounds boneless beef chuck, trimmed, cut into 1 1/2-inch pieces
• 1/2 cup flour
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1/2 teaspoon freshly ground pepper
• 1/4 cup vegetable oil
• 1 large yellow onion, coarsely chopped
• 1 can Guinness Draught beer or 1 3/4 cups Guinness Extra Stout
• 4 cloves garlic, chopped
• 1 can (14 1/2 ounces) beef broth
• 1 tablespoon chopped fresh parsley
• 2 bay leaves
• 2 small sprigs fresh thyme or 1/4 teaspoon dried
• 1 pound small red boiling potatoes, halved
• 3 Carrots, peeled, cut into 1-inch chunks
• 1/2 small rutabaga, peeled, cut into 1-inch chunks  

Directions:

1. Pat the beef dry with paper towels. Combine the flour, salt and pepper in a shallow dish. Add the beef; toss to coat well with the flour. Reserve the remaining seasoned flour for later.
2. Heat the oil in a large non-stick skillet. Add the beef in batches in a single, uncrowded layer. Cook, turning, until browned on all sides, about 10 minutes per batch. Transfer to a slow-cooker. Add the onion to the skillet; cook until golden, about 5 minutes. Add the Guinness and garlic; boil 1 minute, scraping up the browned bits from the bottom of the pan. Add the mixture to the slow-cooker.
3. Add the broth, parsley, bay and thyme to the slow-cooker. Cover; cook on low until meat is almost tender, 2 ½-3 hours. Sprinkle in the reserved seasoned flour; stir. Add potatoes, carrots and rutabaga. Cover; cook on high until tender, about 1 hour. Taste pan juices; adjust seasonings.  If you really want to kick up your stew, throw in some leftover bbq brisket or pulled pork in the last hour of cooking. 

Brats, Beer and Cheddar Chowder

Prep Time: 2-3 Beers

Cook Time: 1 Half of 1 Football Game

Servings: This is so damn good, you’ll probably just want to eat it all yourself!

Ingredients:

• 2 large Yukon Gold potatoes, unpeeled, diced and boiled until tender
• 2 tbsps butter
• 1 medium onion, finely chopped
• ½ cup shredded carrot
• 3 large shallots, chopped
• 1 garlic clove, minced
• 1 (14-ounce) can chicken broth
• 1/3 cup flour
• 1 cup cream
• 1 tsp caraway seed, crushed
• ¼ tsp black pepper
• 16 ounces sharp cheddar cheese, grated
• 1 tbsp spicy mustard
• 2 tsps horseradish
• 4-5 bratwursts cooked in beer, halved lengthwise and sliced
• 12 ounces beerr

Directions:

1. Boil potatoes until tender and set aside.
2. Boil brats in beer until cooked through; set aside.
3. In a large saucepan, melt the butter over medium heat. Sauté the onion, garlic carrot and shallots until soft.
4. In a large screw-top jar, mix broth and flour, shaking with the lid closed until smooth. Stir into onion mixture.
5. Add milk, caraway seeds and pepper. Cook over medium heat for five minutes or until thickened, stirring
6. requently.
7. Gradually stir in cheese, mustard and horseradish; reduce heat to low.
8. Cook and stir until cheese melts, but do not boil.
9. Stir in brats, beer and potatoes.
10. Cook, stirring frequently, until heated through. If the soup is too thick, add some of the beer that the brats were cooked in.
11. Garnish with shredded cheese and cayenne pepper or paprika.
12. For an extra kick, add smoked sausage, leftover pulled pork, or some smoked bacon.

Be A Man.

-The Founding Father

Filed under: Food, Football, How To, Sports & Leisure