Breif Jerky
In my ongoing quest to find the Manliest products out there, I came across this:
Source: http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=6577234
We joked about it long enough, it was time to make dreams come true! Please allow us to introduce our first EVER pair of beef jerky underwear we call BRIEF JERKY. Note the time and care that has gone into crafting this wonderful undergarment. The attention to the properly placed groments that enhance the wearers comfort! We’ve even “bedazzled” this pair and added our Mixed Species logo on the back next to a heart of rhinestones. All in time for Father’s Day!
We consider these to be the first in “meat haute coutoure”. They are made to order for each specific customer from the highest quality of dried preserved meats we can find at the closest convenience store. This particular pair was created to fit our very own model Hairy McSpecies! We will be adding his “action shots” soon. Currently there are too many good photos to choose from. Rumor has it that wearing our BRIEF JERKY undergarments will release their natural pheremones once your body heat and moisture kicks in!
Please keep in mind the Brief Jerky are made out of real untreated jerky! They are way more for “show” than “go”. Brief Jerky is NOT for consumption. If you wear them, please be gentle. Brief Jerky are held together and lined with thin adhesive single cell foam sheets. If interested, contact us with your waist size and we’ll get your very own one of a kind Brief Jerky created!
I’ve made plenty of beef jerky in my day which raises a question every Man should be asking after reading this article. If your going through all the work to cure meat for 2 weeks, smoke it for 6-18 hours, and turn it into a pair of underwear, why the hell would you fag it up with diamond studs? Seriously, attach something useful like a wall mount bottle opener or a hammer holster and The Founding Father is a buyer.
Be A Man.
-The Founding Father
This is nuts.. Does is hide the sausage? Where’s the beef?!